While most fans of shitty NFL teams realize their team is a joke and has little chance of making the playoffs, let alone winning the Super Bowl in any given year, Cleveland Browns fans seem totally oblivious to how much they suck.
The highlight of any Browns fan’s year is undoubtedly the moments before the NFL draft. While most teams are searching for future talent, the Browns are always in need of a savior. Someone to step in immediately and turn their franchise around. Browns fans cling to their TVs during the grueling multi-day NFL draft like no other fan base in the NFL, watching every boring minute as their team’s management makes poor choice after poor choice. Typically wasting extremely high draft picks, the Browns usually select a QB in the first round to replace last year’s ‘savior’ who ended up as the scapegoat for their abysmal season.
The Browns’ inability to draft long term talent is laughable, often wasting multiple first round picks on players who are out of the league in under five years (Johnny Manziel). It seems that the Browns have finally learned their lesson, not drafting a QB in the first round this year or last, although they did draft Cody Kessler and DeShone Kizer in the third and second round, respectively. I feel confident saying that both of their careers are already over, based on past Browns’ quarterbacks.
After the NFL Draft at the end of April, Browns fans spend the next three months researching their new draft picks and explaining to anyone who will listen that this is “going to be our year.” The summer months are their favorite time of year because there are no football games to distract them from their delusions of grandeur and the Cavaliers are probably in the playoffs (at least recently).
You may spot the #Browns trending on Twitter during the NFL training camp each August, as fans share videos of their team dominating each other. This will be the only point of the season where Browns fans will have cause to celebrate, so let them enjoy their last optimistic moments. This honeymoon period extends through the preseason, where Cleveland fans take the four warm-up games way more seriously than necessary, like actually watching the games and believing the results mean something.
It’s hard to justify this die-hard dedication when you consider the fact that Cleveland professional sports teams didn’t win a single championship from 1964 to 2016. Additionally, Cleveland has never even appeared in a Super Bowl, one of only four teams to claim this dubious honor. Oh, and their football team bailed on the city in 1996 and moved to Baltimore, a team that now shit kicks the Browns on a yearly basis.
While only four teams haven’t been in the Super Bowl, over 40% of the NFL has never won the Super Bowl. Two of the four teams who have never made the big game, Jacksonville and Houston, have only been around since 1995 and 2002 respectively, while the Lions and Browns have sucked since the Super Bowl began.
The Browns need to take a cue from the Lions and fade into quiet acceptance that the NFL is rigged and your team will not win the Super Bowl. Honestly, I would advise most fans to accept this reality unless they root for the Patriots, Giants, Cowboys, Broncos, Packers, Colts, or Ravens. Sure you may make the first or second round of the playoffs, but when it comes down to it, you’ll get screwed.
While some teams that suck have extremely dedicated fans, like the Bills Mafia, it’s far less pathetic than the Cleveland Browns fans, who legitimately believe in their impending success before each disastrous season. On the other hand, the Bills Mafia is all about shotgunning beers, breaking tables, and wreaking as much havoc as possible in the AFC East before their season ends after week eight.
It’s hard for me to grasp what attracts someone to the Cleveland Browns football team, only the second best team wearing orange in Ohio. In any given year, the Ohio State Buckeyes football team could probably compete with the Browns, and yet, the fans remain steadfast that the Browns aren’t a huge joke. Just watch the 30 for 30 documentary film, Believeland, if you want to see Cleveland fans try and justify their obsession with failure and disappointment.